13.1 MAYBE

Yesterday’s run made we think that it is possible.  This past week I found out that my Pastor and his family will be moving away.  This is sad news for our church, as we love them.  (Side note:  We are excited for them, and how God is working in their lives.)  But with the move we know that we will miss them.  My Pastor’s wife is a really intense, inspirational runner (great women).  And she asked a friend (Brianna) of ours to come to the town that they are moving to, to run a half marathon.   A HALF MARATHON?!?  (That is 13.1 miles… WHAT?)  The other girl is all in, so proud of her.

Going to see my Pastor and Holly (wife) and their family, made it really tempting, but really I am far from being able to run 13.1 miles.  So I unfortunately thought, there is no way, so they told me that there is a quarter marathon.  Somehow for some reason, that sounded really lame to me (a half of a half of a marathon).  Okay think about it though, a quarter is still 6 miles, that is nothing to scoff at.  If you have done that, well, really be proud, that is awesome!  That is farther than I have ever ran.  So, I was like okay, I will work on that.  6 miles, May 31^st, I can do that. Okay, good goal.

That was until yesterday.  Okay, this isn’t going to sound big, but to me it is huge, I ran 5 miles yesterday!!  5 miles!!!! It wasn’t even planned; I met Brianna for a run at the Montour Trail to run.  I really thought we would go 3 or 3.5 miles max, as we have been running 3 miles together recently.  But we got to the trail (still very sorry I was late Brianna) and you could literally have ice skated in the parking lot,  it was a flat sheet of ice.  My car slid into the parking spot.  The trail was hardly any better.  You could tell that many people have ran, cross country skied and even a truck was driven on it.  There was ice everywhere.  We have to start off by walking the first 1/8^th of a mile on the sides of the trial in the snow.  We both started thinking that we would hardly make it a ½ mile and half to turn back, not to fight the ice.

But then it started to clear up some, some areas were ice, some was snow and a little bit of sand.  As long as there was some snow or sand we could run.   A few times we did have to walk, but really ran most of it.  We got to 1.5 miles, were we would turn around if we were going to do 3 miles, but then we decided to keep going to the next mile marker.  If we would have turned back at the next marker we would have totaled a 4 miles.  But we were running, and kept running, and the next marker never came.  We started to think that maybe we passed it, but maybe not.  We didn’t want to cut short at this point, but we were also thinking that we had to keep were the sun was in the sky in mind.  We did not want to be running in the dark, on the ice.  We were starting to debate to turn back.  And then Brianna said that she saw and mile marker.  So we decided that we had to get to it.  So we ran ahead, it wasn’t that much farther.  We got to it and realized that we had ran 2.5 miles.  And we had 2.5 miles too run back.  So we did.  At times we had to walk due to ice, or maybe in part due to my sore muscles.

So long story short, Holly and Brianna I am working on a half marathon.  Not promising but I am working on it.

Again this isn’t edited.  Just my thoughts of last night’s run from my head, through my keyboard onto your screen.  Thanks for reading, hope it wasn’t too frustrating being unedited.

God’s stewards

I already mention you are enough!  You are “fearfully and wonderfully” made, created by God and loved by God!

To expound upon that, every creation, you and me, are called to take care of what has been given to us.  That is your body, and mind.  Do not take these things for granite.  “For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.” (Titus 1:7-9)

What we are not called to be is: “arrogant”, conceited, egotistical, “quick-tempered” or a hot-head, “drunkard”, or “violent”, ferocious, “greedy”, avaricious.  We all fall into times of pride, agitation, or over indulgence but this is not where we are called.  Praise God that we can be forgiven, because face it, we all slip up.  What we are called to be “above reproach”, blamelessness, “hospitable”, welcoming, “self-controlled”, orderly, “upright”, honest, “holy”, pure, and “disciplined”.

Further, it is clear that we are God’s stewards, taking care of what He has entrusted us with, what He gave us was more of a lease, than an outright giving.  “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;” (1 Corinthians 6:19)  Caring for your body is as caring for something which God created, loves, entrusted you with, and dwells within.  This is not something that should be taken lightly.

This is something I feel pretty strong about, and wish I was much better at.  You will probably be hearing more about this…

enough!

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Seriously let that sink in, the Creator of the universe made you!  Down to the last detail, He made every single part of you, designed you (hair color, eye color, height, every detail).  He is the creator of everything from the grass to the galaxy, yet He made YOU!  And He made you special; you are like no other person.  You are “fearfully and wonderfully made” in His image.

Know how special that make you, and if you are that special to God, please treat yourself as such.  No one’s opinion of you matters, because you matter to the Creator.  The God of the universe, the King of King love you.  Do not let other’s opinion of you, affect your opinion of yourself.  If our Heavenly Father made you the way you are, and loves you the way you are, then you are enough.  You are always enough, you are more than enough; you are a child of the Lord.

Quotes

If you know me, you may know that I love quotes.  I am not sure why but I do.  I will share some of my all-time favorites.  I will not include Bible verses (that would get lengthy).

“You are a beautiful person, you deserve a beautiful life.” Water for Elephants

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it.  The time will pass away.” Earl Nightingale

“Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.”  GK Chesterton

“People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for.”  To Kill a Mockingbird

“If seeds in the black earth can turn into roses, what might the heart of man become in its long journey toward the star?” GK Chesterton

“Behold the turtle.  He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.” James Bryant Conant

“You don’t have a soul.  You are a Soul.  You have a body.” CS Lewis

“In every job that must be done there is an element of fun.” Mary Poppins

“Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away and going away mean forgetting.” Peter Pan

“Without ambition one starts nothing.  Without work one finishes nothing.  The Prize will not be sent to you.   You have to win it.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Oh man, I am sure there are so many more….   Well I guess I will just have to share more of them, and why some of them are my favorites at a different time.  Hope you like them!

Not held back!

I do not like to be held back in life.  To be honest very few times did I feel that someone or something has held me back, other than myself.  If I want to be able to do something then why should I let myself get in the way?  Yet it happens.

Right now in particular I am thinking about running.  By no means am I a good runner, it is somewhat embarrassing to call myself a runner at all, considering that I am not very good.  My fastest 5k was 27mins and some seconds.  I can honestly say that I really have not gotten better since then, and I really want to.  So why should I get in my own way of doing that?  Yes I can use the excuse that I have feet problems, which I do.  Or I can blame the fact that the weather is crummy and all the gyms are too far away from my house, but I won’t.  (Sorry mom, I will still complain about my feet.)  I am not stopping a 5k, with some effort many people can run a 5k.

I am not saying that it isn’t a large accomplishment.  I remember the first time I finished a mile, without walking, it is a very large accomplishment.  And every mile marker after that is huge. The first official 5K I did, I felt like after that I could do anything.  Well, that was 2.5 years ago and since then, I have only added like a mile and a half to that to 4.5 miles at the farthest.  That is the embarrassing part, in 2.5 years all I added was 1.5 miles.  This year I will get up to a 10K (6.4 miles ish)!! I will!

I don’t care that it is winter, if it is above 25 degrees I can run, as long as it isn’t raining.  (I will make that excuse.  I will not run in the cold rain.)  Before the end of summer I will run a 10k.  I am not asking anyone to join me in this challenge.
But if you decide you do want to accept any form of a running challenge, more or less than mine, please let me know so that we can encourage each other along the way.

Grandlove

I have talked quite a bit of Papap and indirectly some of Mawmaw, I am sure there will someday more on her.  One person that meant the world to me that I have failed to talk about thus far is quite literally one of the most beautiful women I have ever known.  She is someone who wrapped around my heart in the fondest way, and never let go, even though she is no longer with us.  Granny.  I can not think of this woman and not smile, other than missing her.  I really can not think of a different word to describe Granny than beautiful.  She had beautiful pale skin, beautiful white hair, and a beautifully soft touch.  More important was her inward attributes, her faith so strong yet gentle, her compassion for others, her need to be with her family.

I got to spend a lot of time with Granny.  She would come to our house every single Saturday and sit at the kitchen table, and most Saturdays I would sit there with her.  I use to get so excited when she was coming, one day I danced around the yard saying “It’s Grandlove!” and yes that name stuck.  My loving grandma was my Grandlove. That is what Saturdays looked like, they just did:  Mom cooking, Keagan playing, Dad at work and me and Granny at the table.  Half the she would get on me about owning too many shoes or being too sassy.  Yet I chose to sit with her, and just take that time with her in, and I am so glad I did.  I can not remotely being to tell you how many grilled cheese sandwiches, bowls or ice-cream or popsicles we consumed at that table.  I can guarantee you, it was an unhealthy amount.

Granny use to watch me a day or two a week, Keagan would generally go to daycare (he had a ton of friends there) and I would go hang out with Granny.   Sometimes we would go to the park or McDonalds or Kmart, but we usually just hung out at her house.  I would play on the swing and she would sit on the porch and watch me.  Or we would watch Full House or Flinstones, when I go to pick, or Golden Girls, when she picked (the things that went over my head lol).  And at Granny’s house one could always count on Peppermint Leaves being on the kitchen table.  I always thought I was sneaking in to get them, but I am sure she knew.

She was always so sharp.  Her last few years her body started to struggle with heart problems, but her mind never quivered.  She was sharp as a tack, if Granny told a story she knew and you could count on every detail being true and accurate.  She would share stories of the days she worked at the daycare or of her weekly Sunday lunch with her church girls.  I loved Granny’s stories.   She really was just awesome and beautiful.

Don’t worry, Pray!

So when I was pretty little, I was kinda got shook up about silly things, when I would look back I would totally see that it wasn’t something worth worrying up.  Who am I trying to kid, that I would only do this when I was little, I still do it.  But I remember standing in my grandparent’s kitchen and I was sharing my concern of something, probably minor (I don’t even remember what) to my uncle, and he said that he wanted me to remember something that he always told his daughters, “Don’t worry, pray!”

This quickly became one of my favorite quotes, “Don’t worry, pray!”  I always gave Uncle Harry credit for this quote, which I still do.  But what I didn’t know is that he was sharing a piece of Biblical advice, or dare I say a command.  Philippians 4:6 tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your request to God.”  When my mind is busy with thoughts it is general at night that the worry sets in, when there is not much else I need to think about.  This is really dumb, I know this.  Why worry?  It does no good, it doesn’t change anything.  I know that instead I should be taking my concerns to God.

All too often when I worried about something, I feel like I need to talk to someone about it, mom, keag, text a friend, or whatever, I just need someone to hear me out.  Why do I not just voice my concern to God?  He is right there always willing to listen, urging me to talk to Him.  Yet I seek out someone, who probably really doesn’t want to listen anyway.  Take it to God in prayer.  I am really working to make this a priority in my life. Just this morning in Proverbs 3:5-6 I read, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

This is not something that to take lightly. God is not saying simply to that life will be easier if we trust Him, it is a command, “Trust in the Lord.”  Put your confidence in Him, He will take care of you. He knows what is going on in your life, He can bring you through, rely on Him.  So the advice to you as well as myself is “Don’t worry, Pray!”

Owning my own business. Some random thoughts.

Okay so I have mentioned it twice now.  Opening my own business, yes one of my biggest dreams/ goals in life.  I always say it is a pipe dream, because this dream will take a large amount of money and it is super risky.  One I don’t have a large amount of money sitting waiting for me to buy a business, nor am I much of a risk taker at all, let alone when it comes to financial decisions.  But since early teenage years, I have wanted to open a bed and breakfast or an inn.  Knowing that this is going to cost me and arm and leg, which I may never be able to part with, I have a fall back dream of managing an inn and the events thereof (this blog isn’t about my fall back though).  I am not going to lie, Gilmore Girls may have had some, or a lot, of influence in this dream.  I don’t like to say I based a life dream on a TV show, but yes it spurred the dream and it has really taken off from there. I really want to work to make this more of a goal, an attainable goal, rather than a dream.  So what does the end result look like?  Well it my mind it is pretty great, let me try to put it on paper.

Where?  Well, I have never lived anywhere other than South Western PA, and yes thus far in life this is home.  But I know for this type of business, I really need to consider location to make it successful.  So being that I am not a southern belle nor want to be, I am thinking one of three states: VA, TN, or KY.  These states have better weather all year long, and are really pretty areas (and yet not too far from home.)  If the location changes, that is not something that I am stuck on, I am open to change in this area.

When?  As soon as possible, aka as soon as I can remotely afford it, this is to say awhile off.

How?  The big part is yet to be determined, with money and hopefully help.

Who?  Me and as much help as I can get. hehe

What?  The BIG question, the EXCITTING question.  What do I want this business to look like?  It is laid out perfectly in my head, and I am sure that I cannot do it anywhere near justice to try to get you (the reader) to picture it but that is okay, I will try.

So I want it to be a big, old Victorian farmhouse with more charm you can imagine.  Not like anything big and gothic, but Victorian and charming, girly, chic, rustic way, not fancy and frilly, but classic and soft.  Wow this is harder to describe in words, than the pictures in my head.

Okay and I want it to be a large piece of property, not so much that is it unused, or ridiculously expensive, but big enough for a barn. Probably not horses as that is liability and upkeep, but I definitely want miniature horses, chickens and bees.  That would be so cute and fun.  And I could have fresh eggs, and homemade honey, too awesome!  Ok so the minis would be in the basement of the barn, with an attached chicken coop, and the bees out of the way (bees tend to make people uncomfortable.)

The upstairs of the barn would be for events, such as wedding.  This is a must; it is a huge part of the dream!  That would be so darling (I have a new appreciation for this word (more to come on that in a future blog)).  So, this would not have to be at the very beginning, this could be an addition for later.  If I owned the business I would most likely not want to handle the details of the section of the business, but when time and money allowed hire someone to be an event coordinator and be as involved and I could and wanted to be.

And the third building on the property would be a guest house, this would be my house.  Especially if I ever get married and have kids, I do not want to have a family in the middle of business with strangers in and out all of the time, but to live on the property but a distance from the inn would be awesome to see my accomplishment and my dream laid out in front of me.

There is so much to this, with exciting detailed images in my head like: Christmas decorations,  fancy tea cups, with homemade pastries, refinished hardwood floors, huge front porch with rocking chairs, closet full of board game, feminine quilts, big fireplace, large colorful flower garden, huge farmhouse table….

This is getting so random.  Hope this gets across some image that remotely translates into the image in my head. This is far from complete but good for now…

Memories Live.

Last week I said goodbye to my grandfather at his funeral.  I know this isn’t goodbye forever, as I will meet him again in Heaven.  But (God willing) it is goodbye for a while until we meet again in the glory of the Lord.  I hate saying bye.  Near the end, I knew he was nearing the end, we had closure.  But the man suffering lying in bed did not act like my grandfather, did not look like my grandfather, and really wasn’t my grandfather.

My grandfather, my Papap, departed days before his last day on earth.  Papap was a man full of life, standing 6’4”, strong and proud.  He was a hardworking man, with enormous hand, (that even as an adult my, rather small, hands barely extended beyond his palm) that were always stained.  His feet were the biggest feet of anyone I knew.  I remember clugging around in his boots as a little girl and hardly being able to walk, later in life, even extending well into his dementia, he would line his foot up with mine and laugh at the size difference.   The last time he did this was the second to last of 2014, I will never forget that day.  That was the last day I got to spend with Papap (not the last day I spent with my grandfather but the last day that I spent with Papap), the man that was and always will be my grandfather, he was himself, major pieces were missing but overall he was Papap.  He always did like the comic section of the newspaper, which was a cool part of him that he was a hardworking, proud man that always had a jovial side.  Also with the dementia a lot of the time he seemed to remember me as younger than I am, so he was trying to read the comics to me. He was really struggling with his speech and with reading, and was becoming frustrated, so I said to him, let’s read it together.  And I read him the comics and we looked at the pictures together, he told me which ones to skip because he “didn’t ever read those ones.”  It was a sad, but good ending memory to have together.

There were so many memories. Like piano recitals.  Mawmaw and Papap never missed one, ever.  And many times I was convinced that Papap was asleep.  I would ask mom about it, and didn’t quite believe her when she would say he was closing his eyes to help him focus, but I do know that that was true.  He really did enjoy those listening to us kids make music.  Even up into his last days, conversations would be harder and harder but playing the piano for him brought a smile to his face, and was so much more enjoyable than struggling through a conversation.  I was really happy to hear that Mawmaw plans on getting her piano tuned now for her enjoyment.

Another memory is Papap and dogs.  In my life time Mawmaw and Papap never had a pet, but I hear that they always had dogs, this kind of came as a surprise to me, just since I have never seen them with pets.  But I have one recent memory, captured by picture of him with my dog, Nala.  Nala is not the most trusting dog, and kind of skittish around men, but it was really just a joy to see how much he liked to sit and pet her all alone in the sun this past fall.  He really did enjoy time outside, and the peace of a quiet moment.  I think I already mentioned he was a fairly quiet, reserved man.

A funny memory looking back was one of the days I cutting grass with him in Sewickley.  After he retired he started his own little lawn care business thing, where he took care of quite a few lawns in Sewickly.  Keagan and Harry went with him to do this pretty often, for a least a summer or two. I think it was one of the last summers that he did it, Keagan and Harry had less time and less interest in doing this with him, so I went.  I made some extra money, and it was hard work.  I think I was somewhere around 10, at the time, no I wasn’t crazy about it.  I didn’t really have a sense of money yet, so that didn’t really faze me, and it was hot, and hard.  But looking back even though it was only a few time, I can honestly say I got to go to work with Papap and see him make a business out of one of his greatest passions (gardening).  I haven’t really thought of it before but maybe, in some way, this sparked my interest in opening my own business.  But on to the funny part…. We were driving home from Sewickly one day, and he said that he wanted to show me the old town.  I wasn’t sure what part of what old town he wanted to show me.  But really to be honest, I didn’t want to go.  I just wanted to get back to their house and cool off, play in the creek, take a shower, eat popsicles I didn’t care, just not ride around in that hot old truck, listening to polkas, driving through some old part of some old town.  Well we got to the old town, it was downtown Aliquippa.  Not the best town and by far not the best part of that town.  When the mills were open it is where he worked, and it wasn’t a bad town, there were many shops and such, but now it is just a rundown town, without much going for it.  He showed me boarded up building after boarded up building.  In his mind, I guess through memories, it really worth seeing, which is cool, yet kind of funny, what he thought a ten year old little girl would get out of this.  Again looking back, I am glad we did it.

Okay, this could go on for a long time.  Like Thanksgiving Dinners, well yea that is one worth sharing.  Man, could that man eat.  Like a said before he was a large man, but in a tall sense, he was never heavy, but he ate as much as four people.  He loved the traditional foods, meat and potatoes.  On Thanksgiving he, without exaggeration, would end up picking meat off of the turkey after many plates of food, and he would always say that those little left over pieces had the most flavor.

Yes, this could go on and on and many people could add many memories because they knew him in other ways or for a longer time.  Yes, he loved to hunt and dance, and from what I hear party.  I didn’t really have too much of a first-hand experience of this, so I will leave those memories for others to share.

Shiny Things

I am not your typically girly girl that likes a lot of jewelry, shiny clothes, or anything glittery.  It is just too much for me.  But last night and this morning I had a true appreciation for shiny things, it was snow, ice, stars and moon light.  In my little world, on my drive home last night and my drive to work this morning there was a glittery pathway.

It was very dark, with the moon half showing, but it was a very clear night with the stars everywhere.  While driving home, I noticed the multiple stars illuminating little specks in the sky.  The farther I got on back roads, the more shininess there was, ice and snow.  It wasn’t on the road (which was good), but it lined the banks, branches and even jaggers.  They were the pretties jaggers ever which I know sound funny, to see dead, prickly bushes dusted with glitter was really something.  It was just an image of God’s creation and beautiful design even in the things that are general painful.

I know there is not much point to this blog, but take time to notice and enjoy the little things in life.  If you only take time for the big things, you will miss the majority of charm in the world.  Smile often and make it a good day.