I miss my blog so much. I still go back and read it sometimes and when I do I really want to sit down and read the whole thing, not just one or two posts. Maybe that is really self-centered or narcissistic but I don’t think it is, I think I just like remember back to thing that I did that I really enjoyed and wrote about. It helped me think through things, plan for things, and remember things and people. A lot has changed since I started to write these blogs. For example, I have now ran three half marathons, Keagan is getting married in a little over a month, I have a boyfriend, Dakota is getting married right after Keagan and on and on. Lately I do not have the time to write; at my old job I had a lot of time to write, so that is what I did. Now I am busy at work on the time but I can wear headphones so I have all the time to listen. I have not thought of it before but I clearly would rather talk (or write) than listen but maybe it was a God thing for me to shut up and start listening. I now not only listen to music but to many online sermons (Nathan Weller (my past Pastor), Francis Chan and Mark Driscoll), POD casts (Glenn Beck), and audiobooks. I guess it was time to hear other voices than my own.
Author Archives: nedonnan
Why do I write blogs?
I really don’t know. I have never been much of a writer; I never consistently kept a journal or did writings before in anyway until this blog. I do not do it super consistently or on a particular day of the week or anything like that. Sometimes I wait until I have something to say, other times I just start writing and see what happens, or if someone says something that really gets me thinking I will write about it. I don’t think that am a good writer (if I can even call myself a writer at all). I know I am pretty bad at spelling, and not that great at grammar, but I guess I just have a busy mind, and know that I shouldn’t nor can’t talk all the time so I found another way to communicate. I am not sure if I really care if people read or like what I write. I mean, it’s kind of cool to know that people read it, and get something from it, but I don’t think that is why I write it. Maybe I write it just as much for me to read later on, as I do for you to read it now. I do go back and read my blogs later on, and find so many spelling errors. Sorry if the spelling, and grammar bother you, but they don’t really bother me. As I explained before, if I took the time and detail to edit it, I am afraid one of two things could happen, (1) I would change it too much that it wouldn’t really sound like me anymore, it would be too polished, or (2) I would be common too self-conscious of it and nothing would get posted at all.
I have been keeping this blog for a list less than a year now. And even though I do not know why I do it, or generally where all my random blabbering comes from I do even it and I plan to keep blabbering away on here. I hope the few minutes you take to read it every so often isn’t a total waste of your time.
2nd half: Do two halves make a whole?
It has been awhile since I have posted, a lot has been going on. I started a new job Monday (which is good, but I do not really feel like talking about that.) Instead, I want to do a quick write up about my second half marathon, which I ran this past weekend. I promise I am writing this one more for me to remember it than for you to hear about it, but you are more than welcome to join in my experience of it. Oh and for warning of details, runners will understand.
It was in Warren, PA, starting at Kinzua Beach, going across 59 long bridge, across the dam and down Hemlock Ave. into Warren, right past the refinery and to the YMCA. I love this area, and it was very pretty which was awesome.
Charlie, Brianna and I went up Friday afternoon, after Charlie got off work. We went straight to the dam to see the lake before it got dark, then stopped and got dinner at a little old person restaurant. I promise that we were the only people there that were under 70, other than the people working there. Nevertheless, it was good; we got a hot meal and a piece of pie for less than $10 apiece. We talked about pie a lot of the way up. Then we went to my friend Lydia’s house where her and family graciously let us stay. Lydia, the awesome cook that she made soft pretzels, for a late night snack. Judith and Nathan came up from Pittsburgh as well for the race. So we spread out throughout the house and went to bed. In the morning, we dressed for the race and ate our “normal breakfasts”. Dressing was the hard part, it was much cooler than we are used to lately but 13.1 miles is far and we knew that we would get hot. So what do you wear? Knowing that my parents were going to be somewhere near the dam I knew that I could leave a layer with them. So I wore shorts, a dri-fit t-shirt and a long sleeve dri-fit t-shirt. Oh and Charlie, Brianna and I wore superhero t-shirts. Charlie was the flash (fitting), Brianna was Capitan American, and I was Superman. HAH
I don’t think I can do a play, play for this one, like I did for our first half, maybe thirds of the race.
Started at the beach:
We bused from the YMCA to the beach. At the beach the bathroom was pretty long line but last chance. So we lined up at the entrance to the beach parking area, and unlike any race I have done in the past they had a “Father” from a local congregation lead a prayer which was really neat, and kinda funny. He prayed that God be with our souls, and the soles of our feet. We high fived Charlie and wished him luck, knowing that we wouldn’t see him again until the end. The race was underway. And not long in at all we were running across 59 long bridge. I remember thinking and saying to Brianna, we drove far for this, appreciate the views. The bridge was one of the best views of the run. Gah I love that place. The steam was rising off the lake. Hitting around mile one we were starting to warm up, long sleeves off and we could tell our bodies were officially much warmer than the air because steam was rising out of our mouths. Around mile two a guy came running up behind us, breathing super heavy, and I was actually somewhat worried that he would not be okay for the rest of the race, he ran by, and had to be at least 55 years old with a pretty large “pot belly”. This portion of the race was all on 59. The first mile didn’t “lie” as we called it, it didn’t hurt, we were warming up nicely. Somewhere in the two-mile mark, I started to worry that I would have to stop for a bathroom break in this run and I really didn’t want to, for two reasons, 1. Slow down our time, not that we are super time conscious and 2. Stopping, once you stop it is so much harder to get started again (probably a mental thing). Somewhere between 3 and 4 miles, I was convinced I would have to stop; I knew there would be a bathroom by the dam, mile 4. DARN! (or should I say CRAP! Lol sorry) Mom and Dad were at the dam, they had the kayaks on the car, so the car was quicker to find than them, so I knew they were close. I yelled Diane, Craig!!! (Too many moms and dads) I had to be more specific. Threw them my shirt, chatted as running by and they told us see you on the other side. I assumed somewhere along Hemlock.
Started across the Dam:
This is a big deal! I have been to Kinzua close to 20 times and have never seen the Dam open to crossing. After 911, they closed it to the public for security reasons, with only opening it for some exceptions. This was one of those times, so it was really neat to run across the dam. You can see really far down the river and part of the way up the lake. It is neat to be at the point that the lake and river met, or separate, however you want to look at it. In addition, I have never been on Hemlock or the other side of the dam, so this part was a new adventure. It is paved, back road. Within the first .5 mile off the dam, it is a decline with some weaving back and forth, which was pretty and got to see the bottom side of the dam. At this point, I could really feel the sun shining on my navy shirt. It felt good, but I actually thought that I might get hot, but I really did not. This is when we noticed that the same two older to middle aged men were behind us for a good 3 miles now, and I heard them talking about pace. So I asked, “what is our pace?” he said right around 10:15. That is pretty good, we ran the last half with an overall pace of 10:59 so with that, we were beating our last time. We did not have the goal to beat our previous time. We actually had the same goal, to run the whole thing. Why the same goal? Because this time, we had an added challenge, hills. But we were beating it, and now knew that we could beat it, new goal, baring nothing goes wrong. Nearing mile 8 it start to get challenging, the metal game was on. People in front of us were starting to walk, which lets that horrible thought enter one’s head, walking, I could walk. NO! don’t walk! You are not doing this to walk, RUN! Back and forth the mental conversation. Saw mom and dad again, it is always encouraging to see people, especially ones that are particularly pulling for you! This race was very different, since the last one was through a town. This time there weren’t many people cheering on the sidelines, hardly at all. Running and running, doing alright, no runner’s high just pushing along.
Entering town:
Dang we are getting there. Good there will be a bathroom at the finish line! So town meant we were near but not that near. We still had well over a mile, pace was slowing a bit but we were still under 10:59. We were going to beat it, it was all mental now. Some people started to walk, some people started to speed up and pass us. The two guys behind us passed us. Do not walk. Run! We pasted the refinery. Turn, downhill, turn, straight, turn and roll ankle. Yes last quarter of a mile, I rolled my ankle off a piece of metal or something coming out of the ground. No stopping now. Straight away, sprint! Hardly anyone cheering. Push, go, now is the time! Finished!! 2:15:09! Done! This time was different, no runner’s high. But that is okay, it was a big deal still. Mom and Dad, Charlie, Lydia and Judith were all at the end. Charlie and Judith both finished in less than two hours, and Lydia not much over two hours! Great job everyone!
Wanderlust?
Wanderlust is a strong desire for or impulse to wander or travel and explore the world. (Oxford Dictionaries Online).
Nomad- a member of a people having no permanent abode, and who travel from place to place to find fresh pasture for their livestock.
Bear with me on this, many thoughts are rolling through my head and the thoughts will probably come out choppy on the screen, but try to hang with me.
So I am not a nomad. I have a “permanent abode” and I don’t have “livestock” that need “fresh pasture.” I like my “permanent abode” and spending time at home, but I do have a desire to “travel from place to place.” Which therefore I think means I have wanderlust, but does it fit if I am not impulsive? But I think the word “or” is my saving grace, “a strong desire for or impulse”. I may not be impulsive but I do have a strong desire “to wander or travel and explore the world.”
I always really loved the idea of traveling. There are very few places, or times that I want to travel to the same place repeatedly, not that I don’t love a place, it just that life is short and there are so many places I want to see. When traveling especially, it is nature and culture that I want to see. Culture is generally gathered from the people, and you find the largest amount of people in the cities, but that is not me, not where I want to spend my time. I want to go out to the small rural towns and mosey around and just observe the slower life that happens in the country side. Ireland was perfect for this; you can read about this article below. And nature, that is a God thing. Romans 1:20! He made all of that and I want to see as much as it as I can.
In Ireland I really noticed how much a place can attach itself to your heart. A friend of mine uses the term “kindred spirit” and you hear of “soul mates”, but can a location be something of sorts?
Kindred Spirit – a person whose interests or attitudes are similar to one’s own.
Soul Mate- a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.
I mean soul mate, so I am not crazy, I know that a place cannot be “a close friend or romantic partner” but it could be ideally suited to you? I don’t know though, I have been to some pretty great place which left an imprint on me, but I don’t think they were “ideally suited” to me, I have always returned home without a crazy desire to make that place my home. Is there a place like that? It might sound disappointing, but it isn’t, but no I do not believe that there is a place “ideally suited” for me, or you, in this life. Philippians 3:20 states “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesse Christ.”
Maybe that is why Wanderlust is so real. We travel from place to place to see more and more. And by seeing we are actually experiencing more and more of God’s character and divine nature through His creation. Maybe, I don’t know, but maybe we are getting tiny glimpse of Heaven or God. “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities–his eternal power and divine nature–have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.” Romans 1:20 So we desire to see more of the world and more of creation and get to know God better.
I really had no intension of taking this into creation and Christianity from travel, but wow it really does speak to that. I hope you got something out of this and I know the thoughts are not clearly laid out, but I really feel like my thoughts made it somewhere. Thanks for reading!
Shadow of a Runner
Let’s say that yesterday’s run was well, different… kinda lonely. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t very long. It was a medium length at 5 miles. But from what I can remember it was my most lonely run I have had, at least in a long time. I have run 5 miles by myself before. And I will most likely have to run a lot longer by myself, at the half marathon. So what do you do to occupy yourself on long runs?
I wouldn’t call it boredom but just lonely. I listened to music which helps a ton. (Sometimes I run without music. You can read about an experience as such here.) I let my mind wonder, thinking about everything and anything. Some of my clearest thinking happens while running. But yesterday I was observing my shadow. “My shadow is the only one who walks beside me.” Green Day. Sorry that wasn’t too fitting but it entered my mind. It was kind of cool to watch my shadow; I mean it was with me the whole five miles, without much else to look at. I was able to observe my form and even correct it in some ways. But in a weird way it was kinda like a companion. Again it was with me, the only one beside me. When I slowed down, it slowed down, when I sped up, it sped up (yes duh).
But I have seen my shadow before while running, but it has changed. I have become more athletic and a better runner, I tend to like my shadow more now than I use to. Now my shadow looks like a girl runner, where my shadow use to look like a girl struggling to run, I guess this speaks to how I feel about myself as well. I am more confident in my runs; I am by no means a fantastic runner. I am still slower than many runners, but I am a runner. I am finally to the point that I am comfortable and confident enough to join in with many others with the title of “a runner.”
Peanut Butter Prattle
Have I ever told you how much I love peanut butter? Well if I did, today will reinforce it. If I didn’t, you will learn, and may think that I am slightly obsessed, and you may not be wrong. I can definitely say that peanut butter is my favorite food. I eat it almost every day in some form or another. I try not to over indulge on it, but probably a tablespoon on an average day.
It is the most practical food that I know of; it is good so many things, can be eaten any time of the day, doesn’t need refrigerated, very portable, and is full healthy fats and calories. I am not sure why I am telling you I like peanut butter so much, you probably don’t care. Or I just made you hungry. In either case sorry, I will stop.
What has me thinking about peanut butter? Yesterday. Yesterday my mom and I went to McConnell’s Mill State Park and went hiking and snacked on peanut butter. I figure we hiked between 4 and 5 miles, not super far but it was 90, so it was far enough. It is a really pretty area, with my two favorite things surroundings (well close) mountains (at least rocky cliffs) and water. It was really enjoyable seeing people out with their dogs, kids, friends and family. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Spending time with my mom is one of my favorite things. We spend so much time together since we live together, work together, go to church together and ride together. We actually can spend hours together and realize that we aren’t even talking; we just run out of things to talk about. And that is fine. Sometimes we spend maybe a little too much time together and get a little edgy with each other. Sorry momma. And I am off topic again. But I guess all this to say yesterday was a great day, with one of my favorite people, being in my favorite surrounding during my favorite season, snacking on my favorite food. Hope you had a good Labor Day and got to do a few of your favorite things.
“All of our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt Disney
At a young age my generation was told to “dream big” “you can be anything you want to be” and “no dream is too large”. But then we grow up, and we, our peers, and society, sees the risks of “dreaming big.” The questions then start, “am I being responsible?”, “is it too risky?” and “are my dreams obtainable?”.
Yesterday, two things really had me thinking about childhood dreams, one I will go into detail on. A dream of 14 year old me, and probably many other mid-teenager, was fulfilled yesterday. Approaching 16, and a driver’s licenses, teenagers get in their mind there “dream car”, and mine like many others was a mustang. I knew at 16 I was not going to own a mustang, and that was fine. I wasn’t unrealistic. My cousin had on and took me for a ride, which was neat. And my dad’s friend knew of my mustang dream. Being the proud owner of a 1966 Black Mustang, he said he would take me for a ride, which would have been really neat, and I would not have asked for more. Although driving it would have been way cooler, but that would have been scary and I knew I wouldn’t let a new driver drive it if I were him. Well I never did get that ride, until….
Yesterday we went to a car cruise that I knew he would have the car at. I asked him if I could sit in it and take a picture. He stood up took the keys out of his pocket handed them to me, and said “take it for a ride”. I was so excited but so nervous. There were so many people around; I never drove anything without power breaks, or power steering. How different would it be? This car is his pride and joy. He said don’t be nervous, “it is just a car” and sat back down. Wasn’t anyone going with me? I asked my dad, he said “Not my car”, so I asked the owner “umm you are coming right?” He said only if you want me to, I did. I drove through the car cruise, receiving many compliments, out onto the main road and back in. It wasn’t a far ride. But I had a huge smile on my face, the whole time. He said “Next time I can take it farther, and faster. Next time!! There will be a next time.
A mustang might not still be my “dream car”, but it was a dream fulfilled. It wasn’t a dream that I had to work towards, or give up anything for. It was just something I had to patiently wait for, and was graciously offered to me. It wasn’t a life changing dream, or one that I had to pursue, but it did come true. Thanks “Uncle” Ricky!!
The other story isn’t my dream or my place to share the details of. But some dreams, take a lot to pursue them, a lot of chasing, sacrifice and risk taking. These dreams tend to be the ones that people question, can make ourselves question, and can carry some scary risks. But I guess I just want to encourage you if you have a dream like this, chase it, and don’t give up on it. God goes with us and He has a plan in it. Don’t let anyone hold you back. If the Lord put it in your heart to do it, He will be with you along the way. Also if you know someone with a dream this big, support them, encourage them, help them to think it through, but just because you aren’t a risk taker, don’t discourage their dreams
First Running Play List
I don’t think I broke it to you yet, but I am training for another half marathon. I didn’t commit to doing it yet, I think I will, but so far I am training for it. This one may be very different than my first one, my only one thus far, for three reasons. 1.) It will be hilly. 2.) I may not have Brianna by my side the whole way (her mom is due with a baby the same weekend as the race). 3.) Therefore I will need music. It is fairly common for me to listen to music while I run, unless I am with someone, so nothing new there. But that is really far to not have my “running buddy” to chat with, whine to, and motivate each other. So I will definitely need good music. For most runs I just turn on Pandora radio and switch it up from “AC/DC”, “One Direction”, “Avenge Sevenfold”, “TobyMac” to “Pit Bull”, it all depends on my mood to know what will carry me through a run.
Different music has proven to affect my run differently. Let’s just say that “AC/DC” is fast, and not an obtainable pace for more than 3ish miles. “One Direction” is fun but not super motivating. “Avenge Sevenfold” some songs I can’t stand, but they sing “Dear God” and that is my 2nd favorite running song. “TobyMac” helps me to praise God in my running, but sometimes I get tired of that type of chanting music. And “Pitbull” radio is fun, fast paced; a good beat but really lacks morals. I have never made a running play list before because I just depend on Pandora but there is a good chance I will not have cell service for this race. So I need to make a play list, downloaded on my phone that will get me through the run. I am open for suggests but I am trying to think through what songs will be best and know at what time what song will motivate me best.
- Hey Brother – Avicii
- Wake Me Up Inside – Evanesence
- Fancy – Iggy Azaela
- Whistle – Flo Rider
- Only Your Love – Kari Jobe
- What Makes You Beautiful – One Direction
- Black Betty – Ram Jam
- I’m the Man – Aloe Blacc
- Crazy Train – Ozzy
- Shake It Off – Taylor Swift
- Alive – Hillsong Young and Free
- Timber – Pittbull
- Dear God – Avenge Sevenfold (good mid- way focus song)
- Live Life Out Loud –Hawk Nelson
- Mean Disposition – The Rolling Stones
- Next to Me – Emeli Sande
- Don’t Fail Me Now – Melanie Amaro
- Thunderstruck – AC/DC
- Pain – Jimmy Eats World
- Steal My Show – TobyMac
- Enter Sandman – Metallica
- I Believe – Hill Song
- Loneliness of a Long Distance Runner – Iron Maiden
- Shook Me All Night Long – AC/DC (Finished the New Moon Half with; and that song still gives me endorphins!)
I still need some…. Help me out!!
Advice for College
College students are starting to go back, and this is the second year that I am not making the return to college, as a graduate. Do I claim to be an expert? No. But I have been there, done that. In fact, I did college orientation twice (since I was a transfer student), so I guess I have some experience and advice to share. Your experience will be different than my, so take it as you will, and make of it what you want.
Dear New Student (Freshman, or Transfer),
First off, you will be experiencing so many emotions, (excitement, fear, pride, anxiousness, curiosity) and that is okay. Take a deep breath. When you get there, take a look around, there will be tons of people there (which may lead to more fear or more excitement depending on who you are) but they are experiencing the exact same thing you are, and the same emotions. You are all on the same boats.
My first word of caution on that, when you are looking around at this sea of people and you see a large group that already seem like best of friends, don’t worry, good chance that they are on a sports team and just spent a ton of time together in the last week or two at camp. Take that as an example that you can and will make friendships within the first few weeks.
Your first week of orientation will be every tiring. They keep you very busy, doing all new things and meeting all new people. It is designed like that for a reason. They want you to get to know your new surroundings and all the people that you will spend the next four years with. Also I was thankful for this. By the time my head hit the pillow at night, I didn’t lay there wondering how in the world I was supposed to sleep in a strange room, with a girl I just meet, with all these emotions running through me. My head hit the pillow and I was out.
Chances are you will get broken into a small group, either by major, transfer group, or sports team. Get to know these people and be yourself. You will be forced to speed the first few days with them, and chances are you will have classes with them. Don’t hide your true self. You are all coming together from different places, different interests and all different people. But get to know them, you might have more in common with them than you think and you may end up being better friends with these people than you would imagine. My closest group from college (my second college) is the group I transferred in with.
Second piece of advice, some things are optional. If you aren’t doing anything better, and sleeping doesn’t count, go! They are usually at least remotely fun, a chance to meet more people and someone is paying for it and that person is you, through your tuition.
Third, is once class starts get in a routine. There will still be so much newest, all the upper classman will be coming back. The dining hall will be a bustle. The gym packed. The sidewalks crowded. Why? I don’t know, but it doesn’t last. Give it a few weeks, things will greatly slow down. Wait til the snow and you will hardly see a person, at times. Do not wait for it to start slowing down. Get out there, and join the crowd. Get to the gym, get a dinner time established, join groups, and attend a church. Meet people and get involved.
Fourth, if you need help with anything. Get it! With class, with roommate issues, with homesickness, with any illness. You are paying good money to be there, you are not forced to be there, make the experience good on yourself.
Fifth, you will change as a person. You are entering college at 18 you are leaving college at 22. Two close friends of have four year differences than me, one is four years older and one is four years younger. We are all in slightly different phases of life, and have had different experience to shape us. That is to say be true to who you are, hold fast to your morals, but be moldable. You are there to learn and grown, so do that. Also I went into one college with one major, saying that I wouldn’t not change. I was wrong, year later, new college, new major. It happens, be open to it.
Biggest take a ways: you are paying good money to be there, do what you are there for, work hard in your classes, get good grades, make new friends, and have some fun!
Cliffs of Moher
It has been around 4 months since we have been to Ireland and in some ways it seem so much longer ago than it was. Maybe it is because so many other people have been having “summer vacations” since then. I am not sure that Ireland could count as a “summer” vacation, since we wore denim, down, and wool the whole trip (not cotton, nylon, and swimsuits). I think back to Ireland often, and I plan to return someday. Yesterday a coworker was asking about it, since his wife wants to go there. Which had me reminiscing on the trip and it reminded me that I told you that I will share more snippets of the trip, back when I told about A Simple Place: Lahinich. I told you that I would tell you more about that day. That afternoon we went to the Cliffs of Moher.
Lahinich was a simple place, the Cliffs of Moher, only a few miles away was not a simple place, they were astounding. Pictures do not do it justice. I am actually kind of at a lost for how to describe it. The tourism site describes it as “Standing 214m (702 feet) at their highest point they stretch for 8 kilometres (5 miles) along the Atlantic coast of County Clare in the west of Ireland. From the Cliffs of Moher on a clear day one can see the Aran Islands and Galway Bay, as well as the Twelve Pins and the Maum Turk mountains in Connemara, Loop Head to the south and the Dingle Peninsula and Blasket Islands in Kerry. O’Brien’s Tower stands near the highest point and has served as a viewing point for visitors for hundreds of years.” We did have a really clear day, it was the best weather we had all week, but I can’t honestly say that I noticed the Aran Islands, Galway Bay, Twelve Turk mountains, Dingle or Blasket Islands (maybe I just didn’t know what I was looking at). But I did feel like you could see “forever”, even so much that you could see the curvature of the earth.
From what I can figure Dakota and I walked about 9 km (about 5.5 miles) we went farther to Liscannor and then back and then a short ways towards the town of Doolin. Where we saw a sign that Dooling was only 9.4 km away, we decided when we came back that we should hike from the Cliffs to Doolin and back so around 10 miles. This would take the majority of a day, involving packed water and snacks, which we didn’t have that day.
If you are going to Ireland, the Cliffs of Moher, are a must see. It is crazy how much higher than the ocean you are when you are on the cliffs, but there are spring feed puddles up on the cliffs and water flowing out of the cliffs. There are hazard signs everywhere that the cliffs can crumble also there is nothing that separates you from the edge of the cliffs, so you have to use common sense. At the same time I know that there were risks involved in getting near the edge or going to the high points, but what is the point of living if you aren’t living “life on the edge once in awhile.”
Sprinkles through the Day 